Emergence

Sometimes I channel certain things in sessions that are new to my present consciousness, but yet some part, the deepest part, I’ve known forever. It’s very interesting, this being human, how we have our “firsts” when really they’re not firsts after all, just the first time in this life.

This happened in a remote reiki session 2 days ago. The first word I heard, as if yelled at me, was “emergence”

I’ve never technically heard this word used in relationship to any spiritual concepts, for instance like a word such as karma, or awakening is so tied to spirituality that it holds a certain anchored meaning. I know the word remembrance, I started to remember what that meant in concrete spiritual terms. For those who don’t, it’s the process by which we awaken to our divinity, to the remembering of the vastness of our soul. For me, when I awakened, I had visceral emotional reactions when I saw ancient tapestries and I recognized them. I had nostalgia, a deep, guttural flutter that told me it was not my first time witnessing them. I was there at their time of creation.

It dawned on me to look up this word in terms of spirituality and this is what I found. So yes, it does have meaning, and it blew me away. They indicate that this process should have proper support— it’s interesting to gain context and descriptions for the work that I do without prior knowledge that this is what I was doing— I’ve helped clients integrate, understand, parse out and heal throughout this convoluted, complicated process of spiritual emergence. It is a beautiful, beautiful, challenging and rewarding process. I hope that this post opens doors as opposed to giving any answers, as a new possibility unfolds in my consciousness after understanding what this means in concrete 3D language.

In my understanding and experience, the spiritual awakening is the first step to a spiritual life- it’s when the kundalini energy connects root to crown for the first time and divinity enters. This is the first stage of remembrance, but remembrance is a continual process that spans a lifetime. The deeper you go with your soul, the more you remember of yourself and the world. You remember past lives, then the lives between lives, and you see glimpses of the future lives too.

There is only one major, cataclysmic spiritual awakening, yet it can feel like in the process of emergence that there are multiple small tremors of awakenings. These are usually accompanied by ego deaths in which parts of your ego go into full resistance and have to die In order to allow more of the soul self to emerge. These can feel brutal, but they happen once in a while as new parts are sloughed off and they often come with full surrender into a fearful state, and then a sudden surrender into connectedness and release.

A dark night of the soul happens during the spiritual awakening, in fact it’s a necessary stage. It’s a cumulative process of sometimes years, in which the soul/human journey through extreme darkness until one day a MAJOR part of you “dies” in order to allow the awakening. I do feel that ego deaths are more minor, they happen in conjunction with the dark night of the soul but as “they” are telling me now, the dark night of the soul is a rite of passage. Most of us only have 1, and some of us have 2 at a much later stage of spiritual progress.

Emergence is by far the most difficult thing because unlike the others which have a drastic turnover, emergence is a continual process with no definitive beginning or end. I thought that it did, but “they” are correcting me as I channel them now. We are in a continual stage of emergence.

Outgrowing

When we’re on the path of growth, ascension, healing, whatever you choose to call it, you invariably start adopting your own pace that’s a reflection of your vibration. It’s really difficult for two people to travel vibrationally at the same rate because we’re all unique.

Something I’m learning through my own path is that there will be times that are very uncomfortable as we shift into new ways of being. The matches externally die out as we shed new skin, and we can no longer match certain people in our lives that we, at lower frequencies thought we’d know for a lot longer. It can come very suddenly and can often times be very jarring. Why does it feel like I can no longer talk to this person? Why am I suddenly dreading responding to them, like my energy doesn’t want to go near them? These are some of the thoughts that pop up when I reach this stage. It’s not avoidance, because nothing changed in the relationship— but, I changed.

Sometime we outgrow our teachers. I’ve had teachers and healers, and sometimes both are the same, meet me when they were of a much higher vibration. But, somewhere along the way I rose in frequency above them and their words, teachings, healings, no longer carry any resonance for me. Their truth is not my truth, even if I once saw it as the truth. I’ve come to find that in these cases, either they will shift out something just won’t work— like you can’t seem to coordinate a time to meet, or what once felt really easy to align won’t anymore. Sometimes it’s not just a scheduling mishap- it’s literally something in the connection that’s out of alignment. When you match with someone, things feel more effortless. When things start to tip out of balance, you’ll know too.

The most important thing here is respecting your own vibration. I feel that human beings often confuse things and think we’re all the same, or there’s one path. But people come into this world with different levels of skillsets and some move faster and some move slower. Everyone has their natural cadence, strengths and weaknesses and they can’t be assessed based on one set of criteria. People will also hold you to their own limits, whether they’re conscious or unconscious. So if you allow them to determine where you can go and where you are, you’re agreeing to their limits which may hold you back. Limits may feel safe to begin with because they establish a certain code of conduct, or way of understanding/relating, as you’re adjusting to a new framework. But, if you stay true to you, you’ll know when it’s time to move and stretch your container. You also know when someone is growing continuously and not imposing limits on you.

For me, it’s become more and more important to find people who do not have limits. These are people who’ve made the impossible possible, because these are people who do not think about the world in limits and do not look at me that way either. They often tend to attract a higher caliber (and I mean this as vibration and consciousness) of people who also exceed imposed limits that are decided based on limited consciousness and a consensus, an average.

Jamie Sam’s book Dancing the Dream talks about various paths that we walk. Sometimes, people skip certain paths and come back later to review, some people get stuck on one path, some people move through all swiftly. Our teachers also need to be a few paths farther than us so they can show us the way. In those uncomfortable moments when we’re shifting out of paths and everyone else is still where we left them, it’s important to just breathe and know that just because there’s an empty space now doesn’t mean that new people won’t come in, or the universe won’t guide you towards another teacher. In fact, it’s the empty space that is the very thing that will attract those people to you faster. This is the important moment of self-mastery where we do need to be conscious of what comes up- fear, loneliness, grief etc.. we need to feel them, honor them, but we don’t need to let them overtake us and sacrifice our own vibration to scratch an itch.

It’s very human to want to run back to what we know, but the spiritual path requires us to have integrity with regards to our own journey and our own reason for being here. Some mindset coaches will tell you to transcend the emotion. I’m not, I’m saying that it’s important to feel them through, but that we don’t always have to act on them. We most certainly don’t want to suppress them, or bypass them, or “transcend” them. We need to be honest with ourselves, use our tools to process, but ultimately make informed decisions based on prioritizing our greatest good.

Regardless, the main takeaway in all of this is, sometimes someone’s truth can be your truth for a while, but there is never an absolute truth and in finding our own truth and sovereignty we need to remember that we have the power to decide what is true for us, even if it’s true for someone else.

Why Aren't My Manifestations Working?

Taurus New Moon is a wonderful opportunity to manifest what you want materially.

Here I share some other aspects of manifestation. If you’ve ever been frustrated about manifestations not working, it’s possible that they are but they are being deflected.

“Part of the manifestation practice is of what you let go rather than what you add” ~ Eckhart Tolle

The Role of the Practitioner

I find that the ultimate role of the practitioner is one of invisibility. In the work, we’re present, but the work is not about us at all. Meaning, we need to be air-tight with our “stuff”, there’s no room for it, or ego, in session.

Although this practice is a few years old and a few of these modalities are newer, I’ve been healing professionally for almost a decade now. I’ve found that being an effective healer means that we strike the balance of full focus on the client, their energy, what they’re working on, but still being able to offer personal feedback and experience when it can facilitate even deeper understanding and healing for the client when appropriate. This experience is devoid of emotional content, but it’s offered purely as a gift with the intention of aiding someone further in their learning and letting them know they’re not alone in it.

I’ve noticed that when mentoring others in their healing, at the beginning stages it’s hard to distinguish what’s ego, self doubt, and also, separating your own energetic matches from your client’s. It’s easy to put your energy into your sessions (which has the effect of a lot of drain! And can slow down your client’s healing), or to make it about you unconsciously (i.e. I want my client to heal so that I feel good about my work) or to not know if you’re reading something of your clients or your own. I believe this process of separation and distillation becomes easier as time goes on, but also if you commit to healing and dealing with your own stuff outside of the sessions so that you can become clearer, for your work. It is a precarious spot of being both selfless, and meta-conscious.

In my evolution I’ve noticed that it really does become more natural as time goes on.

I’ve also seen countless different healers in the past and have come to realize a few things on this journey:

  1. when someone makes it all about themselves with overshares in session, RUN

  2. when someone tries to rob you of your autonomy by telling you what you absolutely need to do or makes your choices for you, instead of encouraging you to make your own decisions, (unless you are actually ASKING them to give you a suggestion) RUN

  3. when someone doesn’t listen, RUN

  4. when someone attributes everything to them- that they are the powerful one RUN

  5. when someone spends the majority of the session just being chatty and small talking— waste of time!

  6. when someone clearly isn’t dealing with their own stuff or their intentions don’t feel right (their energy will feel dirty or muddy)— RUN

  7. when someone makes you feel dependent on them instead of offering you tools and insights for you to work on on your own, RUN. I’ve had many people try to do this to me, they insinuate things to make you feel unhappy, sick, off balance, fearful, hopeless. They distort your reality especially when they see that you’ve made progress and may not need to keep seeing them.

  8. when something in your gut tells you this isn’t right, RUN (but distinguish this from resistance- for instance, one of the most powerful first sessions I had, my mind was so in resistance that it was telling me to leave— but similar to how parasites in your gut can trigger your brain to think you need more sugar, sometimes resistance can do the same. Resistance exists because there’s a huge amount of change on the other side- sometimes it’s our own fear, sometimes it’s entities that don’t want us to shift our vibration, sometimes it’s our own minds, our minds love resistance)

  9. if someone is trying to convert you to any sort of faith, religion, cult by insinuating you need salvation or what have you, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE

  10. if your practitioner’s needs supersede your own— OMG NO ex. I had a therapist who used to text me about what she was going through in her personal life. She would spend session time talking about it too because she needed an ear. She would ask me about my advertising methods and how I got clients. Towards the end I didn’t need to see her as often anymore as my schedule got busier and she would tell me no, that there was too much time in between and I needed to see her more… but I had never committed to anything, it wasn’t a package or module, I simply didn’t need more sessions at the frequency SHE needed (and, before I even started seeing her I did mention to her I may need some flexibility here and there because of my schedule/travel). I could tell that for her, it wasn’t about me, it was about money.

  11. when someone is all just love and light and clearly bypassed, or you can tell they’ve never confronted their shadow elements and are therefore in denial or not well integrated, be careful because they will encourage you to do just that too and they can’t see the “shadow” in others, because they’re scared of their own.

  12. When someone isn’t clear in their own truth, if they don’t move you in a way where you know this person is authentic, they can’t see your truth or authenticity either. They can only see you to the extent they can see themselves.

  13. Someone’s lifestyle is important. How they invest in and take care of their energy is important. In such an intimate capacity, their energy will affect you, whether positive or negative. Their health will affect you, especially if they’re physically healing you through touch. You don’t want to be left clearing your own stuff AND their stuff too especially if you’ve paid them.

  14. If your healer is a psychic/energetic vampire, RUN. They have access to your energy and if they take advantage of that it will not be a good thing for you.

  15. Healers are in intimate territories of trust, consent, and influence. Make sure it’s someone you feel safe around and who works in a clean way with all the three above. This means that the person needs to be very high on the light triad.

  16. Rate is not the deciding factor. For most people who think about money in 3D terms, as in, you can’t see the intangible, energetic quality of money and you’re only looking for something affordable or a cheap deal, this is really not the place to do that. Your energy and health are on the line and it’s not a good area to skimp out on (think about it- healers, especially energy healers are addressing illnesses sometimes before they’re formed and expressed, meaning, someone’s cancer could’ve been preventable if they had opted to treat it before it formed into a disease, and integrated proper steps towards releasing those energies in the body. In the long run, think about how much pain, suffering, money, time this saves.. a session for a few hundred dollars to prevent hospital bills that could amount to half a million dollars… puts that into perspective. Also, effective healings maximize someone’s quality of life- that is priceless). I’m sure there are AMAZING healers who charge way below what their energy/experience is worth (perhaps they want high volume- but that’s also iffy to me because if someone’s high volume they’re contaminating energy fields likely or not having enough space to rest/clear/recharge in b/t sessions, or they’re relying on their clients to go to them routinely 1-2x a week over a long period of time), but most often the best healings are ones that require you to invest, because already, the rate is not just a material world signage of availability/supply & demand, but it’s set as a boundary- one demarcating the healer knows their worth/skill level/ energetic investment/also likely invests a lot into their energetic maintenance and learning, but also that it will deter those people who are not willing to invest in their own growth and well being. This is an energy/skill exchange and it has to be proportionate. Not to mention, sometimes a higher rate actually saves you time and energy in the long run, because the healing can be exponential and take you farther in one session than what many could do in multiple. Sometimes, investing in what at first looks like it’s something you can’t afford pays dividends and then some, because by working with this person you’re opening up all your channels and therefore attracting more money than you can imagine, afterwards. This is again to reiterate, rate is not the deciding factor, meaning that sometimes someone can charge a high rate that’s empty and not a signage of any of the above. Use your best judgment. I know what you’re thinking- what if you really don’t have the funds to afford a session at a certain rate? The thing is, the right amount of money sometimes materializes by way of the universe if we commit to the session. I’m not kidding, I’ve had this happen myself.

  17. Look for resonance- many people have described the feeling of knowing they needed to work with me as a calling in their heart. It’s a really visceral reaction, you’re drawn to this person and know you want to work with them even if your rational mind comes up with a million reasons why you shouldn’t or can’t (money being one of the first ones)

  18. If a healer doesn’t model good boundaries it’s not a very good sign. Boundaries are a necessity, priority for the health and wellbeing of anyone in the fields of energy, healing and mental health. Sometimes as we get work with our clients over a long period of time, of course we become closer and the relationship becomes more personal than just professional. But that is an organic transition, and can’t be one that’s forced on anyone. Even then, there are still boundaries.

  19. Similar to the above, if a practitioner is making you uncomfortable it’s never a good sign

  20. If they display attitudes that are clearly subjective and judgey in your work together, towards you, even when they say they don’t subscribe to those beliefs and are open minded, etc.. — it’s just off.

  21. If a healer refuses to work on themselves, it’s ego. GET OUT OF THERE. There’s a social stigma where some healthcare practitioners think it’s a sign of weakness for them to also seek help- this is a very outdated, unconscious belief and it shows me this person is fragile.

  22. If a practitioner spends a lot of time pitching other services in a way that is an upsell, less a suggestion where you can genuinely benefit from a workshop, course, or other service. I’ve had many practitioners spend the bulk of my sessions telling me what else I’ll need and it always sat so strangely with me. When I started practicing I vowed never to even mention other services in my work, and when clients asked me for suggestions for how often to see me or what else they needed, I’d always say to refer to their own intuition. However, as my practice has grown, I’ve come to realize that clients sometimes genuinely want your guidance with this! And other times, their guides will suggest services for them that will genuinely benefit them and need you to say it to them. Also, sometimes people new to the work may not know how to scale expectations and some issues they want to work on are tough and may need additional sessions. So my sense on this is if your practitioner is being pushy (and they spend a lot of your session time talking about it), or sales-y or trying to get you to do something you know you don’t need, or they want you to do it because it’s not even about what you need it’s for them, then no. But if you’re genuinely seeking their advice around how often they think would be good for you to see them, or if their suggestion is a soft suggestion based around your work together and what they feel may benefit you, with little to no pressure, then it’s good.

  23. This one gives me the creeps: if your practitioner gets really possessive and weird around you working with other people. It’s one thing if it’s very clear that someone else is messing with your client in a bad way (luckily I’ve never encountered this) but to create expectations around your client not seeing other healers, therapists, practitioners is very strange and stalls their progress. It’s lack consciousness. I’m happy when my client has a therapist, or sessions with other intuitives and healers because I’m thinking of my client’s well being. If he/she/they has access to more support and help, they can achieve their goals faster. I know that the majority of practitioners are thinking about their business from a practical standpoint- don’t you want client retention and loyalty? Of course, but that never supersedes my desire for their highest good which is ultimately to grow, and I know that I don’t know everything so if they are getting what they need from someone else that’s amazing! The only way that I can make sure that I continue to have resources and abilities to offer is if I take care of myself and continue growing/learning/healing- and I do not think about clients in lack consciousness- if we reach the end of our work together, that’s our spiritual contract, sometimes our agreements are short, some are long term, and there are a lot of people out there who will find me when we match a in client/healer dynamic and that is dependent on how many obstacles, blocks, lessons I’ve cleared for myself— the demand is on me, not on my client.

  24. If your practitioner is consistently late or ends the session early not because you asked them to.. I personally have a sensitivity around this- I feel like it seems disrespectful, also it shows me if someone is ALWAYS late that they might not be organized around time. I understand sometimes in between back to back sessions there may be a lag of a few minutes, but I always make those up, and as a practitioner I understand that sometimes things come up, it’s not always cut and dry, but if someone has a HABIT around being late or ending early or cancelling sessions I usually won’t work with them for that much longer.

Clairvoyant Readings: The Good and the Bad

Over the years, not only have I given thousands of readings, I’ve also received that many. I’m curious about other styles because I find it helps me have a better grasp of the territory if I not only garner experience, but experience the opposite side. It is my firm belief that you cannot be a good reader unless you’ve also been on the receiving side because that’s the only way you know what the readee wants, looks for, needs, how it feels.

I’ve encountered gifted readers, definitely. I’ve had delightful readings. However, a few things I’ve noticed that I dislike are:

  • When someone is just lost in their own reading space and doesn’t engage you at all

  • When someone can’t access anything and puts the blame on you

  • When someone forcibly makes predictions or tries to convince you you’re powerless

  • When someone forcibly tells you they’re always right, if you challenge them in any way

  • When someone makes ASSUMPTIONS or tries to put you down in the reading space (this seems to happen more with inexperienced readers who are working through their ego lessons)

  • When someone has their own filters they haven’t worked through and see you through them

  • When someone’s energy is NOT clean and therefore interferes, lowers, messes with your energy

  • When someone’s intentions are not pure and they are not reading for the highest good, but trying to meet their own needs

  • When someone reads in a way that makes you feel hopeless

  • When someone chit chats and just starts talking about themselves with no relevance to what they’re reading

  • When someone takes WAY too long getting images or transitioning (the pacing is IMPORTANT!)

I’ve had some terrible experiences now that I think about it, ones in which I knew the person was trying to instill fear, panic, anxiety. My energy literally BLOCKED the reading from going any further.

Now, I know, clairvoyant readings are NOT easy. They require a lot of skill, not just intuitively, but your clairvoyance needs to be well developed and honed and your psychological filters need to be cleared in the reading space. Not to mention, you need to have the interpersonal skills and the background to know how to hold space while negotiating when you jump in to offer more, and when to pull back, and when to offer (if you have them available) your other clair-faculties. I’m at once submerged in your world- not just through seeing, but feeling, hearing, knowing. Sometimes, you as a reader need to know how to steer the reading when your client may not know how or what to ask, and other times, you need to be a passive channel so you do not interfere with the informational flow that is coming through. Meanwhile, you also need to be available and present enough to handle the emotional and energetic labor that definitely is required because your readee may be processing a lot of stuff.

I am up for the challenge. I LOVE reading. Yes, sometimes it is very draining. Sometimes I’m handling a lot of emotional processing and negative energy. Sometimes I’m placed in the position to not only do all the above, but to help my client parse out what they’re trying to say or know or ask. I consider this a real labor of love, something that my particular gifts are made for. There have been some instances in my intuitive development that I have felt taken advantage of or resentful in the amount of work I do for others, or just simply don’t want to practice because it feels so difficult at times (yes, at the beginning of my practice, I was so drained from one or two in-person sessions I couldn’t get up over the weekend. This work can take a toll), but I have NEVER once felt that way about clairvoyant readings. It is my blessing to be able to share them and the miracles that unfold after are always surprising and beautiful to know. I am more than grateful that some of you are so receptive to the readings and have found benefits to it. You have no idea how good it is to know that all my experiences, life, training and otherwise, are not in vain.

I feel that as a reader we all get access to different levels of “stuff”. Mine happens to hit the deeper layers of trauma sometimes, and I deeply believe that we get what we can handle, meaning, I am capable of handling the hard stuff and delivering it with grace. I know sometimes the truth can hurt, but I’m also aware that most times the truth is what we’re after. It’s precision that matters, and also, knowing how to communicate this information that is a skill for sure. I have a friend who was talking about her ideas about radical honesty and in her mind it was permission to say whatever you want at all times, and my response was that yes it’s great to be open and honest, but it’s lacking a sense of social awareness if we just go around saying everything we feel all the time because words can hurt other people. We need to have a level of cultivation around sensitive topics, we need to have tact, sophistication, we need to know how we impact others and we need to also know not to instill fear.

So, here’s what I appreciate about clairvoyant readings:

  • a real grasp of the clairvoyant space, and in knowing what the readee is ready and wanting to access

  • a real fluid template, where shifts can happen quickly if the readee wants to move on to something else

  • limited chitchat, lean communication, only saying what is necessary

  • allowing the readee to take priority

  • sensitivity to the contents and to the experience of the readee

  • checking in

  • knowing when to volunteer a healing and being respectful of boundaries

  • knowing what is being communicated from the readee and the guides you work with, meaning, sometimes you’re not just a channel, you’re also a translator!

  • active, VERY active listening. Reading between the lines.

  • great energy

  • a wide database of imagery, so that the reader can also help you decipher certain images when they come through so you’re not left alone trying to understand an image

  • If something comes through in a scary way, to know how to communicate it with love and empowerment

  • the willingness to help you look into deep dark compartments

  • the feeling that someone is with you 100% and committed to the reading

  • sometimes knowing to ask certain things even if you are not being asked- basically, being one step ahead because you are thinking of the client’s time and you want then to get as much out of it as possible

  • emotional intelligence!!!!

  • honoring the openness in the energetic communication

  • integrity

I know, I know, I’m tough. But from all these years of experience, this is what I’ve discovered. And this is what I want to offer you during each of my sessions. And hopefully by offering this information to you too, it saves you a lot of time and money because I can’t tell you how much I’ve spent on countless readers over the years.

Thank you to everyone who I’ve had the pleasure of reading with, who’ve helped me hone my abilities. Truly.

You have no idea how nervous I was the first time I ever tried. It’s crazy to me that there was once a time I couldn’t “see”, as in, didn’t have clairvoyant abilities, or at least not to my knowledge. I remember the first fuzzy image that ever came through. It was an image of cucumbers on the kitchen counter. Then, I could barely make out someone’s hands chopping them. I felt so stupid, but I said it anyway. “I was just making a cucumber salad” said my first practice readee. “Oh, I could maybe do this…” I thought. I’ve come a long way, but it is my belief that this isn’t the first time I’ve ever activated this Clair faculty. I’m sure I must’ve used it quite a lot in other lives. This one in particular I’m fascinated by. I have different relationships with each of my Clairs and they all developed at different times, and this one, I just LOVE.

Which clair faculty is your favorite? What do you love about it? Hate about it?

Would love to know your experience in the comments.