I’m writing this because I noticed that in the last testimonial I posted, there was a mention that there is no self-aggrandizement in my work. I really felt particularly grateful that this was noticed because I think this in itself takes a lot, a lot of refinement, understanding and measured work. Today it feels necessary to explain what this all means, and the healer’s healing journey because without previous experience, this one insight may elude you as it did, me.
My first few healers were very much all about, ‘your process began when you met ME” or all the descriptions about why someone was super powerful or all knowing or superior to me in some way. In fact, one of my healers said to me, verbatim, “I’m strong and they’re weak, because they’re my patients” at the time I was in my mid twenties, new to all of this, I didn’t understand mysticism or metaphysics then, and so I believed.
I also believed in the savior/rescued dynamic that keeps us all trapped in pitfalls of misery as humans. I thought that these people fixed me, saved me, I completely wrote myself out of the equation. I gave my power away.
Because of these early exposures, I do in fact make sure that everyone in my practice is reminded of their own power. That I’m not saving, fixing or rescuing. I find these steps to be fundamental to healing, because how else can we rise in our own power and sovereignty if we do not first believe ourselves to be capable and independent? It is the very FOUNDATION. If someone takes that foundation away from the first moment you start building a foundation for yourself, which has happened to me in my childhood and in my healing journey, then it is very bad news.
I look at and read over old testimonials that I wrote where I’m delighted by my practitioners (and granted, a few of them, very few, were very good healers) who I believed were beyond my power, or attribute things to them that they “fixed” that were wrong with me. And I shudder. These beliefs didn’t come from me, they came from people telling me, themselves.
I spent years in some turmoil about this, on one hand I do feel that there were particular people who were very helpful in my healing course, but I reflect back as a healer myself, and think about the things they said to me and am just.. devastated. I have compassion, because I know that the true healers that are born of this world with our gifts and mission are put through the ringer in early childhood, in ways that can damage someone’s self-esteem for life. A grandiosity is definitely an offshoot of that, and especially in something that later garners a lot of acclaim for that person in particular can trigger this grandiosity that’s just an offshoot of the abuse we endured as children. A lot of us come from narcissistic and sociopathic caregivers where grandiosity is currency.
However, the ones that truly accelerated my path were those that recognized beyond ego. They were the ones who were humble and showed me the way, and showed me that the way was mine.
Someone’s spiritual process, their awakening, does not begin when you meet someone else. It’s already happening, and the timing of meeting can often come down to spiritual contracts or guides who help guide us to others to help us. Someone can surely trigger spiritual growth in someone else, but no one is solely responsible for someone else’s soul timing. Some healers have very keen awareness for when someone is in process, and others, like myself, make myself available to those who seek my help because I trust that souls know their own timing and what it is they need. My soul, my guides, have always led the way for me, and I just want to remind others that just because someone makes the focus of your healing that it is because of their power does not make it so. Did we not learn anything from Cruella (which is an amazing movie by the way!), those who have power don’t talk about it.